1 year and 1 day

January 28, 2010 at 10:57 pm (Uncategorized)

It has been 1 year and 1 day since we officially started our adoption (papers signed). It has been 10 years since we met. It has been 8 years since we first seriously had the family planning talk, 6 and a half years since we started dating officially, and 2 and a half years (and a day) since we got married. Wow! It feels like it’s been 5 years since we decided to move on from our dream of adopting from Ghana. Time is such a mystery.

I’ve been in the nesting mode lately. Today I found myself walking up and down the baby/children ailes of Superstore picking up items and putting them back. This act, in and of itself, might be a relatively normal thing to do…if I hadn’t done it yesterday as well! As I swallowed back the growing lump in my throat all I could think was, “At least I can have a glass of wine with supper!” Just trying to find the bright side of the adoption wait!

1 year certainly isn’t a long time in the adoption world and I am well aware of that. I don’t know how so many of our friends find the strength to continue to wake and work every day after 2 or 3 years into the process. My heart goes out to them and I keep them in my prayers every day.

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Slightly contraversial…

January 25, 2010 at 5:17 am (Uncategorized)

I had an interesting conversation with a good friend tonight that led to an angry rant from my husband. She asked me what I thought about the orphan situation in Haiti. All I could say was, “What exactly are you referring to? The whole situation is unimaginable”. She went on to say something about children being sold for $50.00 and then asked me what I thought about adoption in this situation. I was a little stunned to be honest. All I could do was tell her stories that I knew of from other prospective adoptive families who were matched with children prior to the earthquake who can not just go pay 50 bucks and pick up their future child. I talked about how I pray every day not just for my children, but for their mother as well. She may be sick, she may have died, or she may be giving them up because she cannot afford to feed them. Her pain is unimaginable. “Oh”, my friend said, “I had never thought of it like that before”. I think about it all the time because I am the adoptive parent. And this trauma (a child being permanently separated from their parent is traumatic) will affect my children, their mother, and our relationship so deeply…forever. Even as I type these words, I feel the need to defend our unconditional love for these beautiful children. This is where my husband’s rant came from.

Why would people even believe that we would want to take a child that has a parent or family member that could care for them? What do you say when people compare you to Angelina Jolie?! Yes, we want to see our beautiful children’s faces, hear their voices, and “bring them home”, but we would never ignore or deny the fact that our family is being built from a tragic situation.

It is horrific that there are millions of children in the world that do not have a home, food, and the comfort of their mothers arms rocking them to sleep every night. I am blessed and fortunate, and I have done nothing to deserve being born in Canada. The sad reality is that we are here, longing for children to love, teach, comfort, and rock to sleep every night. And there are millions of children that need this. So we gratefully and humbly welcome them into our hearts and our lives.

I try to not get angry and defensive when ignorant adoption comments arise, but I don’t always know how to be address them. Let’s be honest, most people don’t want a dissertation so if you’ve got some suggestions I would love to hear them.

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