It’s not Sunday! I asked my mom!

June 22, 2009 at 6:02 am (Uncategorized)

All things considered, it’s been a pretty good weekend. For some reason, Brendan and I have felt at peace with everything that is happening in our lives right now. This doesn’t mean I haven’t shed the odd tear or that we are ready to sit back quietly and see how things go, but it does mean that we know we’ve got a lot more fight in us! And we’re generally very happy and we know that we have a lot to be grateful for! We are particularly grateful for our 13 beautiful nieces and nephews, four of whom slept over Friday night.

After the week we had, I most likely wouldn’t have invited the kids over, but I committed myself prior to receiving the news about Ghana and there was no way I was going to cancel on them! My niece, H., and nephew, N. have been asking to come over for a sleepover for weeks now, but we seem to have commitments every weekend lately. Most Sundays, my family (there are eight children in my family) and their families convene at my parents’ house for Sunday dinner. Inevitably, N and H ask me if they can come for a sleepover. N is only three so when I tell him that it’s a school/work night, he simply tells me he can skip daycare. Wouldn’t that be wonderful! Anyways, a few Sundays ago I explained to him that Sundays are always school/work nights and Sundays are the day that he goes to church. The following Sunday he ran into my arms exclaiming, “Auntie Mary! It’s not Sunday! I asked my mom! We can come for a sleepover!” So I asked him, “Did you go to church today?” His gorgeous big eyes scanned the room, avoiding eye contact with me and he muttered, “Nope”. “Are you sure?” I asked. “Yup..no church”. I was finally able to catch his eye and show him that I was questioning the verity of his response and he exclaimed, “Well, I didn’t want to go!” Thus, we set a date! Just brilliant!

N is a quirky character and H is an old soul. She is always watching, listening, and thinking. She just turned 7 so you can imagine my surprise when she asked me while I was tucking them in, “How are you going to choose them?” “Choose who?” I asked. “Your kids. How are you going to choose your kids when there are so many kids who need a mom and dad?” My sister apparently told H about the adoption about a month ago. There’s no way something like this can be discussed in a home without H asking questions so I really wasn’t surprised when I found out she knew about it. And the questions continued…”Why did you choose Africa? Will they speak English? They’ll probably be very scared when they first get here…what should I do? What will their names be? Are you going to name them? Why is Africa so poor?” H is going to be such an awesome cousin to my children some day and I truly enjoy our quiet moments together!


N and H helping me make pancakes saturday morning!

Father’s day was, as to be expected, a little sad at moments but we’re okay! Tomorrow we’re on the phone asking questions and researching our currents options! Pray that we have some!!

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BLAH!

June 19, 2009 at 5:07 am (Uncategorized)

When we started investigating the adoption process and possibilities, we knew there would be many challenges. Upon our enrollment in the Ghana program, we were told it would be a bit of a roller coaster. I naively pictured days of sadness because the wait is difficult followed by days of excitement and anticipation of our children’s arrival. Ha! I never could have imagined we would get an email one week stating the program would be shut down in three days unless the impossible happened, and then opening that miraculous email three days later stating that we had more time. Yup, that was a bit of ride, but experiencing this over and over again has left me nauseated, exhausted, drained, and distant.

Tonight, rather than checking my email every 5 minutes to see if Imagine has sent us a miraculous email as I have every other time we were experiencing a dip in this program, I sit here thinking about another program. How can I continue allowing myself to hope in this program? Will I be able to trust another program?! Some of my fears are based on the reality of others’ adoption journies, but I can’t help but go there in my mind.

And yet, as I told my father last night, I need to throw myself in this in order to prepare myself for our children. I need to continue reading these books no matter how distant it seems today. Journey is such an understatement! I may be changing the title of our blog very soon! I know that I will soon be at peace with the path we are heading down, but tonight, I AM DONE…SOMEONE STOP THE RIDE!

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